The five days of the recent Aosta Valley Cycling Tour They haven't been easy, for anyone. The disappearance of Samuele Privitera, which occurred following a fall during the first step, he put all those present before deathSomething raw that you're never quite ready for, especially when you're young and have so many dreams ahead of you and a whole life to face. Samuel Privitera there will no longer be a group: thinking and realizing all this is not an easy stepA teammate, an opponent, a friend, or simply a member of the cycling family who stops pedaling alongside others and who does so in the worst possible way.
We asked the doctor Manuella Crini, a psychologist to whom we have often turned to investigate the depths of the mind, to help us understand what such a difficult time meant for these young cyclists and what feelings and emotions are created during mourning.
How do you deal with such a loss?
We are talking about kids between the ages of 18 and 22 who have probably never experienced death firsthand, especially of a peer. Grief is characterized by a series of phases that are common to everyone, to which everyone reacts differently.
Let's break the ice with a concrete example: the author was present at the race, his first reaction was to write a message to Privitera...
It's normal, it's part of the confusion, which is the first phase we face. The brain has stored a series of images that we struggle to eraseYou probably weren't the only one who sent a message to check on his condition. At first glance, it's hard to believe something like this could happen.
Then what comes?
Despair, anger, and finally acceptance. These aren't feelings you deal with all at once, but one at a time. When you are an adult, these phases just listed come in order, while at a young age they can be mixed up.We're talking about under-23s, so very young guys in themselves. However, they are athletes, so mentally they have a different maturity than their peers.
The organizers, late in the evening of the day of the accident, announced that the next stage would not take place.
A correct decision. In those hours, each boy was able to express his emotions. Some were angry, some in shock, others perhaps seemed anesthetized.There is no right or wrong, just a little bundle of pain that everyone keeps as they see fit.
The teams said they spent that day without running with the goal of staying together…
It was right; discussion is necessary in mourning. Being together allowed us to process what happened. But it is not necessary to speak, even silence helps you absorb the thingWe begin to come to terms with reality, there is a void and it must be acceptedNot everyone succeeds immediately; every child has a different life story.
Then we restarted with the third stage neutralized in the first 40 kilometers, was this the right decision?
That of starting again absolutely. For the cyclist the group is one thing, an entity in itselfKeeping them together helped them experience other emotions.
At the end of those 40 kilometers, for a few moments the boys seemed intent on stopping the race.
During that hour and a half of controlled speed, the group had time to think, each on their own. It was their funeral march, the final farewell to Samuele.Some of the kids will have had the opportunity to think and deal with pain in those miles. Here too, many different emotions come into play.Like anger, which is positive because it is an active feeling.
Could it be that the boys with stronger personalities let their feelings, whatever they were, surface?
Yes. The leaders of that group may have been the same riders who are leaders in the race. Other guys may have fallen behind them and let themselves be carried along. The power of the group is immense. Often the emotion of our neighbor infects usThose 40 kilometers were perhaps a bit too much, For some, being alone in a group is a way to isolate themselves, for others it has been a way to amplify negative feelings..
Then the race started again, but some took an extra day to recover.
The important thing, on the day of the restart, was to get on the bike and reach the finish line. It was the right way to proceed. You shouldn't put pain in a drawer, because you never know how you'll react once you open it again.. Interrupting the race would have been like denying the bond with the group, which instead is there.
Privitera's farewell ceremony took place at his home in Liguria on Saturday, while the race was still underway.
If you want to remember a friend or relative who has passed away, all you need is a mental space. A physical space isn't necessary. Each rider will have a small or large space inside himself reserved for Samuele.
